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1. |
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let’s go on an adventure
pile into the car
maybe get a donut first
shoes on, come on
let’s run across bridges
jump from stone to stone
there’s so many places
that we’ve never been before
run around the bases
let’s fill our boots up
let’s have a picnic
and freak out every time we see a bug
let’s double-bounce
let’s slide down backwards
let’s underduck
x marks the spot for pirate treasure
let’s cannonball
i’m so glad my life contains your lives
blinking in a recursive sunrise,
seeing the day through new eyes
and all these dead pop songs pining for the night
they’re trying to stay kids forever, i know
but it’s so much better growing up together now
let’s make up a story
the toys can act it out
gotta do the voices though
it’s more fun, come on
then let’s build a tower
so tall we can’t reach the top
song’s stuck in my head,
i may as well just sing along
roll downhill
we’ll all get brainfreeze
dance crazily
a cardboard box becomes a robot, a submarine
chase the seagulls
find the best rocks in the whole beach
the sun has sunglasses
new hi-score
don’t copy me
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2. |
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first take liquid pure-eyed open spirits
seal in glass with air and syrup
stack in flats and pressurize, oh
then shake until their guts are roiled and fizzing
bursting out apocalyptic
like they’re running out of time
(oh they told me)
you’re the only uplit snowflake for bold things
take the loan, unlock the vault to your gold dreams
(so they pulled me in)
like a hungry catfish suckered by coin on a string
now seize up, jello bones when the phone rings
(no one told me)
how deep long elapsing old feels the toll teeth
clawing carrion my back like a soul weed
(now they tell me)
emptor caveat, should have known
gullible teens gobble one free lunch
then pay out until they’re cold meat
i signed the dots
so i could follow their schematics
and build wings
once they release me
from their open-concept prison
i’ll fly free
i sprayed, i drained my heart for art in music
turning youth to debt to prove it
until one night i stood outside after moving day
and beheld the home my dayjob purchased
while my bleeding art sat worthless
scales scattered from my eyes
(oh they told me)
you’re an astronaut orgone pinnacle peak
build a song and launch your soul so the globe sings
(so they pulled me in)
like a lonely captain drawn to the song of the deep
washing out, palindrome to the old me
(no one told me)
how deep slow erosion cuts in the crow’s feet
giving up tumult for the compass of small things
(now they tell me)
penny for your life
tail is long, chase some more streams
it will wag as long as you feed it some more dreams
some mistakes chase your shadow until you die
just don’t make them the next time you’re alive
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3. |
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spend all my time
breaking into empty vaults
toil for my food,
but it expires before i’m home
waiting for the turn
in my chosen template plot
the distance churns
oh but the rains, they never come
since we were born
we’ve been promised glass and chrome
beige frozen smiles,
a biopic for everyone
but mercy me,
the future’s not what it once was
when we arrived
it was stripmined and hollowed out
(no no way to escape it)
felt the heat rising in my veins
couldn’t move like a deer in headlights
allayed by laundered lies
but they remained untrue
brought a nap to a gunfight
swallowed smoke
coughing through amniotic jokes
how can you show a man
what he’s paid not to know?
the market spoke:
it locked the doors while crying hoax
in a crowded fire
as we ignited one by one
now i’m on fire, i’m engulfed
the blaze cannot be stopped
believe deniers all you want
the flames will find you out
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4. |
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down the cave’s esophagus
rappelling
i had to know its depths
it compelled me, softly
to descend
and when i’d learned
return home safe
then the rope snapped.
i fell back
through rushing black silences
with a terrible weightlessness
afraid, a frayed dream pressed awake
now i’m splayed out on the floor in a pool of blood
the stars twist like a blade through the mouth above
a tourist of the void finally swallowed up
now there’s no going back.
who could be content
with so much?
our hungerlust
inert on floating malls
mainlining mirage, so lost
and once on screen they’d screamed and burned
return home safe
then the power went out.
tearing our throats chanting motivational quotes
oh to live on a float and be a giffable moment
hearts hollow as a money store, frozen on phones
dis_content, strong eyelid
mouth full of tempquit
rinsing the blood from new clothes
the song is the video.
the word is material.
the door is just painted on.
self life, dark matter massing
around our teardrop-shaped history
and missing forest and trees
staying woke in a daydream
now our bones bake in our homes beneath a sawblade sun
the dust wrapped like a knot around our quenchless maw
we consumed to fill the void but then we couldn’t stop
now there’s no going back.
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5. |
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i thought i saw you
but you weren’t there
some misread echo
whispers from the dead
a laugh on the wind
a shape in a glance
a few distant chords
and it floods back again
when you tore me in half
in pieces on the floor
hemorrhaging blood
crawled out alive
wounds become scars and days go by
but how could i know
that pinhole in time
would let all these ghosts inside
negative space, sweeping the tide
how could you let all these ghosts inside?
empires collapse leaving ruins behind
how could you let all these ghosts inside?
i had a dream
i stood in the sea
green and sunset yellow
while you’re on the beach,
hair in the breeze
the way i remember
i call across the waves
but you turn away
to mounting thunder
and the more that i scream,
the deeper i sink
until i’m pulled under
drowned in the flood
woke up alive
the images fade but the feeling abides
oh how could i know
that pinhole in time
would let all these ghosts inside
your finite words, your elsewhere eyes
how could you let all these ghosts inside?
these memories are meteorites
how could you let all these ghosts inside?
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6. |
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(it's raining into the ocean)
it’s an open question -
can you ever be something new
or were the seeds buried beforehand
waiting deep inside of you?
if both shoes fit, then wear them
but they’ll still press you to choose
the science of the islands,
the god of endless blue
i was playing counting crows
long before someone broke my heart
but was not ready, no
i was not ready, no
spend childhood waiting to grow up
to find you only are young once
then you’re forever old
now you’re forever old
call out, white night
a movement sitting still
more adult nursery rhymes
another ant fire drill
your body was your ally
until you were betrayed
the immeasurable distance
the eyes behind the face
farewell to my rearview youth
a stairwell to an empty roof
i can’t tell when the goalposts moved
you have to be the last one
who escapes unharmed and whole
not the nameless knifed abruptly
before the opening credits roll
it clarifies with distance
but they’ll press you to stay close
drift deeper into madness,
drift silent on a floe
some supernova for a moment
then recount it all life long
they cannot move on
they cannot move on
i can’t read my older writing
without biting through my tongue
who is all this for
who is all this for
(freedom shakes)
double square brackets and lumpen sunkenship
cut placid face with no growl
a long knife in the sternum
superstar unison duet
on pyrite coast
driving by a carwreck looking for blood
no courage and mixed doubles
ground-penetrating radar, above-ground pool
the emptiness of a satirist
surpassed by the truth’s darkness
art is useless.
the feeling will dampen with time
like a shadow on a wave
the flowing infinite dark beckons
all pens filled with invisible ink
rock bottom prices
cat eyes shining in the shoulder
shadows sliding across the dashboard
down broadway on pilloried feet and no sleep
and layout-invalidated heart
waiting for the dead audience to awww,
gut full of shot fish.
brown dots raining from the back of my eyes
each letter means time
stretch for the next vine
black lock.
razorblade eye.
with time you may grow to love
what you once despised
brimful on the 45
arguing with a single lemming
the hot dead sun is at its apex
(freedom shakes)
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released October 27, 2020
Tracks 1, 3, and 5 produced by DJ Pain 1
Tracks 2, 4, and 6 produced by Man Mantis
Words, vocals, additional production by Search Engine Optimization
Engineered by MJC @ FBR Mastering